Accepting Your Fate as a Minivan Mom

Accepting Your Fate as a Minivan Mom

With each new baby, comes change. Roles change, family dynamic changes, and priorities shift. A very dear friend of mine just had her fourth child. This baby girl is such a precious little bundle of joy and they are all completely in love with her! She completes their family. Now, while my friend is beyond smitten with her newest addition, she’s also struggling with one minor change that having a fourth child brings… her fate as a Minivan Mom.


For weeks my friend struggled with accepting the fact that the standard SUV would no longer accommodate her brood. She needed a car that could fit them all comfortably, and one that would also fit into their budget. As we talked about cars, carseats, and seating arrangements, in the back of my mind, I knew the inevitable would happen- she’d have to get a minivan sooner or later. I think she knew this as well, but she put up a good fight by researching and test driving other cars. Why?

Well, the mini-van has become a symbol of defeat. Yes, defeat. It announces to the world that while you may have once been young, stylish, and fun- you are now “older”, reasonable, and responsible. In buying this car, it shows that you’ve fully accepted these facts.

The minivan is a proclamation that you have surrendered to suburban living and a certain perceived “conservative-ness” that comes with it. They’re not considered fashionable or stylish, and the assumption is that neither are their owners. They are the mascot of soccer Mom gatherings and the models on the student drop off runway. All of which is not exactly “exciting” or “sexy” in the more “chic” circles.

No fun, sexy, and stylish person drives this comfortable and extremely convenient automobile! They are the goofy-looking cars on the road that everyone has to pass, because they are perceived to be “slow”. They are the cars that are filled with shopping bags, diaper bags, strollers, and sippy cups… not half-dressed friends, surf boards, and beer. They are the vessels that transport kids- overloaded on sugar and loud music, but not at all like a party bus. They are the image of responsibility, and Friday nights at home, in bed by 10pm. (If this is you, here are 15 Binge-worthy shows to watch on Netflix and Amazon… you can thank me later…)

Changing Perception…

Accepting your fate as a minivan mom

How the most comfortable, convenient, and fully-loaded-with-gadgets car became “not cool” is beyond me. That car has more space, more storage, convenient functions, and kid-distracting devices in it than some people have in their homes! It can keep kids happy for hours at a time! That is cool. You can transport an entire band in that thing and still sit comfortably in a captain’s chair. It’s doors open easy, it’s seats move to make more room and you can sleep comfortably in it without lugging a trailer, or driving a gas guzzling, good-luck-trying-to-find-a-parking-spot beast of a truck. It’s smart.

Now if you are not a parent, would you still want a minivan? Maybe not- maybe you’re into speed or have more “fashionable” tastes, but if you are a mother of four… this IS the coolest thing you can drive. When you have to transport multiple people with you, who can’t do things for themselves, on a daily basis- you need all the help you can get, and this car is helpful. It’s what people at this stage of life need to make life a little easier. It doesn’t make them less fashionable or sexy.

Why you need to give in and just get a #minivan!! #momproblems Click To Tweet

Just Get a Minivan, Vanessa…

Now, somewhere down the line, you may rid yourself of this useful vehicle and buy an overpriced, small, and expensive hot rod, at which point, you will then be perceived as having a mid-life crisis. If that’s what you’d like, then go ahead! I encourage you to be happy and I don’t judge. (I like nice things, too!) But a stylish, pricey, and likely small car doesn’t work well when you have kids- and a minivan is too great on the inside to be judged on the outside.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, my point is this: No matter what you do, people are going to have something to say or think about you. Who cares? Why make yourself uncomfortable in the interim? Think of buying the minivan as a surrender to comfort and ease, not a life sentence on your youth or style. Think about how much easier everyday tasks will be and how you’ll be less stressed. And take it from me… soccer moms with minivans aren’t as conservative as you may think.

If you liked this post, don’t forget to check out my posts on Getting Kids to Listen Without Losing It and Why You Need Imperfect Family Photos.

Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, or Twitter for more mom-truths, frugal living tips, and wine reviews (posted in plain terms).

What are your thoughts? Do you have a minivan? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Pamela is a Freelance Writer, Blogger, WAHM of 3, and Veteran Military Wife living in Southwest Texas. Raised in the Northeast and having lived a few years in the Pacific Northwest, she likes to write about mom life, parenting, frugal living, experiences, and WINE. (Lots of wine!) When she’s not busy chasing toddlers around, you can find her on the blog or on social media. Check her out on Instagram:

6 thoughts on “Accepting Your Fate as a Minivan Mom”

  • haha…I’m more on the side of not having a minivan but I also have one child so we can still comfortably fit in our sedan or our truck if we need to haul things. I have been in some nice vans though and it was certainly nice to take my niece and daughter in the minivan where they were blissfully distracted by their Disney movie while we drove. 🙂

    • When it comes to carseats (most cars cannot fit three across), and just the ease of getting all the kids in and out, and especially the fact that she has four, a minivan is SO much easier. She always said she would NEVER get a minivan and she’s somewhat disappointed that she had to, but those things are so awesome on the inside!! Why do people look down on them? Ok, they’re not the most fashionable, but all that get thrown out the window when you have four. A minivan makes it so much easier.

  • Love your thoughts Pam! I bought a minivan and I’m in love with it. We’ve had it over a year now. I love the stow and go, the heated seats and steering wheel, the 2 screens and the fact that we can seat 7. It was perfect for a time in our life when we had 5 kids. Sure, my sisters’ thought I was crazy for getting a minivan. But once they saw how comfortable it was they loved it too!

    • Thanks Crystal!! You’re so right! They are comfy!!!! I love that you can keep the kids entertained for long drives, too!!

  • I was never super anti-minivan, they were just not my favorite. I drove one for years and finally got a Pilot a few years ago (our youngest was 5, so no babies to clip in). I was super excited because it’s not as long as the minivan. I love the Pilot and I really love how it drives, but I think for our next car we’re going to go back to a minivan! You can’t beat the convenience…I miss the automatic sliding doors, the trunk space and the open space between the middle seats for kids to get to the back. Our middle seat in the Pilot is SO dirty from them stepping on it to climb in the back…when we first got it we were really good at pulling the seat down every time they got in, but that faded fast!

    • We have a Pilot, too and I love it. I totally understand what you’re saying about that middle seat- it does get quite dirty. They have the Captain’s Chairs for the Pilot, though… so maybe that’s a good option? Thanks so much for stopping, by! Appreciate all of your comments!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *