Fine-Tuning Motherhood: Post Survival-Mode Strategies for Raising Great Kids
I haven’t done the best for my kids. Well, not by my Pre-Mom standards, anyway. My Pre-Mom visions of raising great kids mirrored something similar to Mary Poppins. We’d keep everything tidy, take fun and imaginative strolls through the park, and they’d be well-behaved.
Giving them an explanation in lieu of “because I said so”, was the key to avoiding meltdowns. Like if I just explained it, then logic would take over and my little human would come to understand or come to reason. Hahahahahahaha
There are a million blog posts on the internet revealing the truth about life with kids and dismissing all of our Pre-Mom fantasies, (I touch on it here in What Life is Really Like with Kids) so I won’t elaborate on that, but I will tell you that I’m now 3 kids into it and none of my Pre-Mom fantasies came true.
You don’t know what you don’t know (until you experience it), right?
12 Months to Raising Great Kids
So back to being 3 kids into “it”… I’ve now found somewhat of a balance. No more diapers or breastfeeding or any other situations that require more attention on my part. I’m entering an age of Motherhood that has afforded me a little more freedom because they are all old enough to somewhat able to fend for themselves (within reason).
Instead of losing sleep over middle-of-the-night feedings, in this next phase I’m finding myself laying in bed at night, losing sleep over the things that had gone wrong that day- or in other words, “How I jacked-up being a Mom today”. I’ve come to realize that there is no better time than now to fine-tune Motherhood.
There is no better time than now to work towards all of the reasonable Pre-Mom aspirations I had for my kiddos. So after a lot of thought (and sleepless nights), I’ve decided to pull from my “Pre-Mom” me, and come up with some areas of improvement that need working on. Over the next year, I plan to work on each of these areas to make my kids’ lives better. I’ve come up with 12 strategies for raising great kids, and just like everything else in life it will be a trial and error process, but I’d love for you to join me on the journey. 🙂
Fine-Tuning Motherhood: Better Late than Never
It may have taken me a little longer to completely adjust to Motherhood than some other Moms, but it is what it is. I’m not looking back. I might be starting this off a little further down the timeline than I originally wanted, but that’s ok. Better late than never! There may be some of you who have had it “together” since the birth of your firstborn, and there may be some of you, six-kids deep into the pit of Motherhood who keep it together better than me, but Motherhood, at least for me, has been an uphill battle.
We were military when we started our family and had little-to-no support from family because they lived so far away (across the country). We eventually made friends where we were and just when we got to know those friends long enough to trust them with our kiddos, they moved or we moved. That’s the reality of military life.
When we left the military, we decided to settle in San Antonio where we had family. Circumstances beyond everyone’s control prevented our family from supporting us in the way they would have liked to. So since day one, it’s just been me, my husband, and our kiddos. No regular babysitters, no breaks, and because of the lack of childcare and moving, barely any friends.
At the time, and because of their ages, our kids required a lot of attention and supervision. So for the longest time, my husband and I had been functioning in survival mode. This wore us out and stressed us out more than anything, but on the flip side, it’s made our relationship that much stronger. We’ve been deep in the trenches together and we’ve learned to depend on each other, becoming one awesome team.
12 Strategies for Raising Great Kids…
Fast forward to now. Here we are, our children a little older, we’re staying put, expanding our social network, and we have more time to ourselves. More importantly, I have more time to MYSELF. Time to reflect on what I’m doing and how we’re functioning as a family. We’re no longer in survival mode, so I’m starting to reassess: Is everything going as “planned”?
Over the past year, I’ve been scrutinizing our decisions and channeling that Pre-Mom me in an attempt to make my children’s lives better. (Although she had ridiculously high standards, she had quite a lot of good ideas!)
I’ve come up with 12 areas that I feel could use improvement (there’s always room for improvement!), and for 2018, my goal is to work on each one of them. 2018 won’t be a “New Year, New Me” year… It will be a “New Year, New Kids” kind of year instead. If you’re ready to join me on the voyage, or sit back and watch what comes to fruition- that’s fine, it will be an interesting journey either way.
This series will cover in great detail what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, how we’re doing it, and eventually an update to let you know if it worked. We’re all navigating through Motherhood together and we all want the same thing- to raise great kids. So let’s help each other figure out how to get it done. Visit back regularly to see how these 12 strategies for raising great kids is working out. Check out the strategies I’ve posted so far: Finding the Best School for Your Child: Education Options, and The Damaging Effects of Screen Time on Kids and How to Fix It.What's your plan for raising great #kids? Here's our plan: Click To Tweet
What are you currently testing/trying/working on to reach the goals you have for your kids?